Just once I wish I could just meet someone who I didn’t have to go out of my way for, someone who wouldn’t make me try so hard. I just need someone in my life right now who isn’t so emotionally unstable and unreadable. I wish I could meet someone who I didn’t have to try and impress every single moment of every single day, someone who from the very start I would never have to put up a front for, just an instant kind of thing. Someone who accepts that I’m not perfect and knows that they can be imperfect with me. I wish I could find someone who would never judge me or the things I do. No one can live up to every expectation people have of them.
“All my life I’ve dreamed of love, never thought it would hurt this much to kiss goodbye and wait for your return. So I’ll be strong and hold on to, a picture and a thought of you, getting all the love that you deserve. So come home to me, back into my arms, home where you belong. Come home to me. If home is where you are, home is way too far away.”
Some things are just better when they’re left open-ended and some things are just flat out better left unsaid, but let me just say this now before anything more serious happens. We have a rocky friendship that not a lot of people understand. Hell, some days even I don’t understand it! But honestly, you are one of my best friends. There’s a reason why I’ve stuck around for so long. If I didn’t have a reason to stay, I wouldn’t be wasting my time trust me. But that’s the thing, you aren’t a waste of time. I’m nothing like the people you used to be friends with so please don’t compare me to them. We’ve come way too far to just throw away this friendship we’ve built and I don’t want to throw it away or lose it. I guess what I’m trying to get at here is, no one is perfect. If we’re going to stay in this thing for the long run, you’re going to have to learn that. I’m going to make a lot of mistakes and so are you. We’re going to make each other mad and we’re not always going to get along, obviously. But just know that I am probably one of the most loyal, sincere, and true friends you will ever have or come across. I would never do anything intentional out of pure spite and anger to hurt anyone and saying goodbye anytime soon isn’t in my plans. Unless they’re in your plans of course, from here on out you make the call. I know it comes with the territory, but I just don’t want to ever deal with anything like this again.
Sometimes you just need some alone time. Turn off your phone and ignore the world, turn up your iPod and take a walk, or find an empty road and just take a quiet drive. Shit, go take a nap or better yet READ! Whether it be to deal with problems, clear your head, or just simply think. It’s not always about making plans and filling up your weekends. It sounds ridiculous, but you can learn so many things from it, especially about yourself.
This topic will forever be etched in my brain after today. Before you go and think this post is actually about womens’ suffrage, don’t get crazy! Today, I helped my friend Melena with her World History AP finals project that was due yesterday. I can’t even say yesterday because its so hard to believe today is only Saturday after all the craziness we’ve been through. It started out at 1:20 when Nick came over to my house to pick me up so we could get Melena. She wasn’t ready so we came back at 3:20. Started out at WalMart, Pets Mart, then Ross. We then drove over to “lonely womens’ central” or Michael’s and Bed Bath & Beyond. We came back to my house at around 5 and started editing at 6:40, finishing at 8:20. The three of us went through all of this just to survey people and see if they knew what womens’ suffrage actually meant. Hell, after the day we’ve had, I don’t even care! Now all I’m left with is laundry to fold, dishes to wash, and a shower to take before my mom gets home. But for some reason, I honestly can’t complain. It was a good day overall and we actually got something accomplished. I guess I was just really happy to help Melena, haha. Oh, and mine and Nick’s steering wheel cover frisbee toss game wasn’t bad either! Low impact sports and 20 Questions Featuring the Mom from Wizards of Waverly Place, ftw.